Ahh, the carnival of Brazil, more like the circus at this time of year though as the FIA once again change the rules to suit themselves, or should that be Ferrari?!

Effectively immediately, the Stewards can bump a driver down ten places on the qualifying grid of the following race if he/she (yeah, that's a laugh) is deemed to be the cause of a major incident…that's almost like letting the air hostess fly the plane isn't it!! Irvine and Montoya claimed there was "no problem with the rules just the consistency in judgement"…I couldn't have put it better myself, and I can't see this improving things!! (See paragraph six)

Effective in 2004, teams are only allowed one engine per driver for the entire weekend, therefore if they take the spare they lose ten places on the grid…according to Frank Williams this is like "going to work without your trousers." Was he referring to himself or his drivers…let's keep hoping for the latter eh!? His sidekick Patrick Head (who we really wouldn't like to see come to work trouserless) called for "more thought and consultation"…bet someone dressed in red was consulted…

Talking of which…whatever colour your car is, you get an allocated amount of tyres for the weekend per driver…that is unless your car is…yes you guessed it…red!! Ferrari have brought the new car to South America…well for Michael they have but for Rubens and the spare it is still the 2001 machine. This gives Schui problems should the new car prove unreliable, as the wheels are not interchangeable between models…so what do the FIA do?! Enforce the rules and say "tough luck"?! Of course not…they say poor Michael and double his allocation…oooh I could spit feathers!!

Talking of which…poor Michael is getting on a bit and there is strong evidence that he is tiring, as Ross Brawn announces that Burti was employed to take away the 'gruelling' testing schedule from Schumacher so that he can be fresh for the race!! OK so that's not exactly conclusive but get this…he's started growing a goatee…now if that isn't a sure sign of someone ageing but not wanting it to show, tell me, what is!? The wig is only one step further up the road to retirement…a red one no doubt!!

Whoa!! I think I've just had an outer body experience because I'm actually starting to feel sorry for Rubens Barrichello…no don't call for the men in white coats, let me explain!! I don't feel sorry because he's number two at Ferrari…that was his choice, that was never going to be any different, but consider this…he comes together with a Williams (Michael's brother) and no-one is punished (not even himself…Ferrari at least did that much)…Schui has a coming together with a Williams (not his brother) and Monty gets penalized despite not being at fault. This alone should not make me piteous but with this new "lose ten places" rule you just know that Ferrari and the FIA are going to cut out the middle man and each time Michael runs into someone and is clearly to blame…they'll just put Rubens back down the grid!!

Now I've got that off my chest…on to qualifying…Rubens and Sato were on a hiding to nowhere losing their fastest times of the session due to running the red lights in the pitlane during practice…once again given that Barrichello was parallel to the lights when they turned red and he could not have seen them…it makes you wonder just what would have happened if his helmet had not got a blue patch on it!! It didn't affect the Muppet's chances though, as he was uninspiring to say the least…that's better I feel more like myself now!!

What is it about drivers in their home races…Rubens in Brazil, Villeneuve in Canada…thank goodness Silverstone's not in Scotland, otherwise DC would never win the British Grand Prix!!

There were however some surprises on track…the Jags for two seemed to have solved some of their problems, Irv stating that they've "taken a step forward…I've made progress"…maybe so, Eddie, but you're still two places behind your team-mate and taking your best qualifying position of the season with 13th is hardly trend-setting is it?! Felipe Massa was the man to separate the two cats on the grid, driving with aggression in an evil looking Sauber and showing no respect at all for a Formula One car…nice to see someone can perform in front of a home crowd!!

Trulli and Button took the bull by the horns and put the Renaults right in the mix with the best in sixth and seventh place respectively… Alonso must be feeling pretty worried right now as let's face it, unless Button stops getting results, he's gonna have a long wait for a race-drive and seeing Jenson strut up and down pitlane in his sunglasses…I'd say he's feeling pretty confident right now!!

Kimi had all sorts of problems but still managed a last dash fifth behind DC who to my mind spent too much time trying to work out why times were so much closer here between the top runners…it doesn't take a rocket scientist David…this track is nearly a mile shorter than Malaysia…by the way that may also account for the fact that lap times are quicker too…I wouldn't want you to waste your evening trying to figure that one out!!

It was great to see Monty at the top of the heap again, alongside Michael and in front of Ralfy but personally I think Ralf has the best seat in the house…to pick up the pieces when it all goes wrong!! The atmosphere between the drivers which has been the brunt of press attention for the duration was blindingly obvious today as they 'chatted' in Parc Ferme…you could just tell that Ralfy was delighted at his team-mate's success…no doubt they'll be getting together over a couple of beers this evening…oh don't you're killing me!!

Well it's on to tomorrow and I'll end this rant Blues Brothers' style:

"We've got a full tank of petrol, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses…so let's HIT IT!!"

Reproduced with permission from PenelopeF1.com

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