There are a lot of unhappy faces around the circuit in Sepang with DC in particular wanting to wind the clock back to start his weekend over…he may be better winding it back to around 1996…but that's only my opinion. As ever the ITV commentators are sure he will pull something out in qualifying…please don't David…you can get arrested for that you know!?

Villeneuve was his usual 'happy' self…probably due to the fact that the BAR is performing about as well as…well something not very good, running at the back of the field for most sessions and Jaguar…are they ever happy!? John Watson commenting that the car was "rubbish"…his words not mine (I don't think I'd have been quite so kind)…and Irvine agreed with him saying the R3 had to be "up there" in the list of worst cars he'd ever driven…a list that no doubt has only one entry on it!!

The Jag team though had other thoughts, ones that must go on the list of 'most stupid thoughts'…ones that claim it's all Bobby Rahal's fault…WHAT!? Considering that Lauda stated (quite clearly) at the launch of the R3 that with this being the first chassis under his management, "this is the car that my team will be judged on." Your team Niki not Bobby's - who's team in CART, by the way, seem to be doing quite well thank you very much!!

Ralf and Rubens still can't agree on who's fault the incident was last time out…you remember, the one where the Muppet weaves all over the track and Ralfy gets to have a go in a real life flight simulator. Perhaps Ferrari will sport the "Keep Your Distance" signs on their cars this time (ala Williams after Brazil)…who am I kidding…I don't really see Ross Brawn and Jean Todt having that sort of sense of humour…or any come to think of it!! They will more than likely just increase the size of their brake lights…so much so the whole car ends up red…wait just a minute, is anyone thinking what I'm thinking…

The crowd though, were delighted to see Alex Yoong out on track in his first home Grand Prix, despite him starting from the usual Minardi spot of…last. Brundle, his usual unbiased self, said the crowd should save some of the cheering for Ferrari…if he got much further up Michael's butt he'd be driving the car…one way Yoong and Weber might get off the back of the grid I suppose!! And if you apply that same theory to James Allen…he'd either be driving DC's McLaren…going on about his distinctive greeny-grey eyes…I ask ya, what is this guy on…or he'd be sitting on Brundle's lap in the Ferrari…saying the battle for pole is "very tight…like Martin's trousers"…hard to believe he is married with a kid isn't it!!

Qualifying itself was pretty boring to be honest, Michael yet again on pole still the only driver to do so at this circuit…but he was chased hard by Monty who had he put all his fastest sector times together at once would have had the honour of breaking that run, but as he said, he "ballsed" it up.

Tomorrow should be fun though, with Rubens and Ralfy sitting side by side on the second row…only their team-mates in front of them (I wouldn't want to be there, would you)…all meaning that it is quite possible that Kimi will lead going into the first corner…of course if Schui goes off the race will no doubt be red flagged, so he'll win again anyway…

Arrows will be hoping for a better start…or a start would be good…flat battery?? I ask you, this is supposed to be the pinnacle of motorsport not me trying to start my mini on an icy Monday morning…come on guys, if you're gonna mess it up…at least have some kinda hi-tech failure!!

Jenson Button may be the dark horse in the field if he keeps it on track…I have mixed feelings about this…part of me wants to see the boy do good but another part (slightly larger) …is a little worried because should he do well, he'll be interviewed before and after every session on ITV…and heaven forbid they get his Dad back in as well…

But don't forget Salo, with Toyota's petty cash figure exceeding some teams' budget for the season, it is hardly surprising that they are coming up with the goods…but as James Allen put it this circuit "is like threading through an eye of a needle"…threading what remains a mystery but what is certain is that some people need to take a few sewing lessons…Jaguar especially (did I really need to say that!?).

Before I leave you, I must say that ITV (not wanting to be out done) are giving away a REPLICA Williams…which, despite not being real could still probably beat the Jag R3 that is being offered by Bernie Vision.

Enjoy the race.

Reproduced with permission from PenelopeF1.com

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