What a day - 6.30am England vs. Cameroon (World Cup warm-up match), 12.05 Noonish Monaco Grand Prix, 4.30pm Indy 500…just a small slot for me to fit in writing this report. Unfortunately all this action on the same weekend meant I couldn't take up my usual position on Eddie's yacht…hanging onto the side screaming "Get your hands off me - Let me go" - I wonder if security will miss me…

I am not going to fill this report with comments on Austria…I think we all know how we feel, and I don't have the capability (unlike ITV) to wheel out Murray Walker, Nigel Mansell and Johnny Herbert to give their opinions but I will say (as ITV were quick to point out) that Michael's comment on receiving his Sportsman of the Year award: "I will find a beautiful spot to put this trophy" lends itself very nicely to the question: "Do you know where you would like to see Schumacher put it?" - suggestions are welcome!!

Martin Brundle has been experiencing difficulty this year with his pit-walks…usually no-one wants to speak to him, or he can't find anyone worthy of speaking too, but today was slightly different as the powers that be tried a different tactic and gave him a microphone that didn't work…and when eventually he was able to be heard, even DC was more interested in kissing his girlfriend than talking to Brundle…hard choice there David…

I have stated many times that Monaco is boring, well guess what…I was wrong…well a little bit anyway, as despite there not being many changes for position on track, it was full of action. DC was the man wearing the lucky underpants today and lead from start to finish which incidentally meant he didn't have to overtake anybody - a relief after last year I'll bet!!

So it was never going to be at the front of the field where we were going to see passing on a circuit where they claim it's impossible, despite all the show of the front three on the first few laps - someone or something had to give…cue Montoya's engine…the only thing to change the order of the top five from first corner to last…yet I'm saying it was exciting?!

Bear with me, I will explain…leaving the top four out of this, Fisichella finished fifth with a great drive…now it may not have looked that great but imagine knowing that every time you turn up to a Grand Prix circuit - you've got Sato as a team-mate, who is quite capable of taking out your opposition, you, or indeed himself…well today he nearly did all three at once. First of all showing a touch of accidental brilliance when he passed Salo down the inside going into Mirabeau (requiring more than a little awareness from the Finn), followed shortly by a touch of accidental stupidity when trying to let Fisi through…in the tunnel…he ran wide and hit the wall, exiting sideways just missing the other Jordan and ending his own race.

Meanwhile Bernoldi (DC's thorn in the side from last year) was showing all of them how it was done with a brilliant overtaking manoeuvre past Massa …the only thing he didn't reckon on was his fellow Brazilian smoking in from behind and punting him off the road. They both got going again but the Sauber driver should have stayed where he was as a few laps later he was back there…this time hitting the tyres at around 100mph in what appeared to be a throttle problem…the most frightening thing that can happen to a race driver…other than being asked to drive for Minardi of course!!

The commentators even got a little too excitable, if that's possible without Murray in the box, when Frentzen was closing in to lap both Jaguars they were extremely worried that they wouldn't recognise the Arrows' driver as being one of the leaders and would hold him up. Now boys calm down…they may be a little slow (ok a lot slow) but they're not stupid…and even if they were…there's such a thing as blue flags!! They bickered from start to finish - James Allen struggling to identify which of the Toyotas and which of the Williams' were pitting when there was only one of each left in the race being greeted with first a correction and then a sigh of resignation from Brundle… and if this wasn't bad enough, Allen then went into some fantasy world where the McLaren pitcrew were storm-troopers and he was looking out for Princess Laya…I've never even seen Star Wars but I don't see the attraction of a woman with a couple of Danish pastries over her ears!!

The man of the moment last time out - that's Barrichello not Schumacher by the way - definitely became yesterday's news today…he lost places at the start, ran out of patience when sitting behind Kimi then ran out of talent when trying to pass him, injuring his nose cone in the process!! Wait a minute I'm slating him but I haven't considered the possibility that Ferrari just gave him a crap car to keep him out of trouble…mmmmm I wonder!?

The rest of the race was pretty processional, the tyre war prevalent as one drivers tyres came in they closed in on another's who's tyres had gone off…as James Allen said: causing nothing more than a caterpillar going in and out…I mean the xylophone effect!! After going through a number of other insects and musical instruments, he did however finally settle on concertina!!

This of course is Monaco and should not detract from the great driving of both DC and Schui and brilliant strategies from their respective teams and hats off especially to DC as he rode the pressure of having Hakkinen looking on and perhaps waiting to pounce!! Hats decidedly on for Ralfy though, who in my opinion could have put his brother under much more pressure early on and perhaps given his team-mate a breather…this is after all a team sport we're told!!

I have to close this early to cover the Indy 500, so have a good one and see you all again at the Circuit Gilles Villeneuve…now there was a driver!!

Reproduced with permission from PenelopeF1.com

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