Well surprise, surprise, Minardi pulled out of the Grand Prix due to safety reasons or rather due to none of their wings actually wanting to take part…considering the team are owned by a guy that also owns an airline you'd think he'd know a thing or two about wings, this is a fact employees of European Airlines might like to take into consideration when they turn up to work tomorrow!!

Both DC and Irvine were vocal about not wanting the Minardis to run for everyone's safety… Eddie must have also been thinking about the fact that his team boss used to own an airline too but starting at the back, due to a fuel infringement, he must have also thought that with the Minardis not there, he could tootle around safely and not get noticed…which incidentally he did very successfully.

The consolation prize for Minardi was that Mark Webber won the charity tennis match that was organised, saying he likes "to hit a few balls now and then"…well after this weekend's fiasco I don't think it takes a genius to work out whose he'd like to hit now…rumour is all the Minardi mechanics and designers have left Spain on the first available flight, which incidentally was not European Airlines so what does that tell you!?

Talking of tennis, the best rally of the day has to go to Martin Brundle and Bernie Ecclestone on the grid:

MB - "We don't see a lot of you around here anymore Bernie?"
BE - "No, I'm working for Sky - you know the channel where you get all the views, where you get to see the things you don't see on ITV!!"
MB - "Yeah, I know…you get a few mates together and think you can double the audience all by yourself!!"

Agghh that must have smarted…and I thought these two were meant to be friends… advantage Brundle me thinks…

Barcelona is always one of the most boring races on the F1 calendar, coming only second to the Hungaroring in my opinion so the challenge was laid out to the organisers and drivers to make this one different. So just how do you go about making an event like this a little more exciting??

Step one - you take out the back markers Minardi (check)
Step two - you eliminate one of the Ferraris from the equation (check)
Step three - disable the second team's chief engineer (check)

Unfortunately they picked the wrong Ferrari (as usual) and Rubens' 'face-aching' grin that he's been wearing for the last couple of weeks was transformed by one simple, yet fatal, cry from the Ferrari garage of: "He's getting far too cocky Jean…I'm pushing the button!!"

And Williams' attempt to copy Ferrari's pit strategy by getting Monty to run over his lollipop man's foot didn't stop there…they also forgot to bring out Ralfy's front left tyre on an unscheduled stop to replace his nose for about the tenth time.

OK, so this didn't exactly pep things up on track as Barrichello never started so we never got to see if he could match Schui for pace, Monty never lost position on track during his debacle and Ralfy never made it to the end as his engine was built to have finished the race about ten minutes earlier… but it all did keep me awake, but only just!!

As always (it seems) Schui was untouchable at the front and was able to vary his lap times by a few seconds without putting any pressure on himself…this was the cue to invoke commentator's excuse no:13.7 to mention that Michael might have a problem…does nobody know the rules of this sport…it states quite clearly in paragraph nine, that all problems related to Ferrari only happen to Rubens, except in none-competitive sessions where they like to be seen to be equal.
McLaren were back in the fray today until Kimi's rear wing did a 'Stoddart' and decided to take no further part in proceedings. It was thought for a minute that the team might call in Coulthard, just in case this failure was dangerous for him too…but it appears that despite DC being dead against racing cars with wing problems, it's ok for him to continue when his is in doubt!!

Well regardless of his double standards he obviously woke up this morning and had a brainstorm…he remembered he's a Formula One driver…amazing what he can do when he tries!! He had a good battle with Button until problems set in for the Renault driver…but I wouldn't go so far as to call it an "engaging, exciting, battle of the Brits" like James Allen did. Although, I don't doubt for one minute that Jenson wants to be top dog in the British camp, I'm also just as sure that DC wouldn't care if it was Suzi Quattro in the car in front…

Funny though, how commentators can turn a thing around isn't it…as Kimi's wing leaves the car, Brundle goes to great extent to explain how these parts are "tested, x-rayed, blah, blah, blah"…didn't hear any of this in defence of Minardi did we…

I have to mention that Sauber did a fine job today, finishing fourth and fifth and Frentzen had a stonker of a race and earned Arrows their first point of the season…strange how he can drive when he has to face Tom Walkinshaw instead of Eddie Jordan…I don't somehow think I can see Tom being quite as understanding of failure, do you!! And I think EJ has to seriously consider "resting" Sato as someone put it!!

Monty carried the theme of copying Ferrari through to the podium, ok so he was cracking his fingers while Michael gaily tapped his hat in time to the Italian National Anthem but he did drop his champagne bottle over the side (a la Schumacher)….only problem is, I think he took the instructions a little too literally and gave it to the Ferrari team…woops!!

Two little facts to end this waffle on…did anyone out there notice that as the cars lined up in parc ferme, Ferrari were the only team that had built little carbon fibre wings…either side of the compulsory camera!? That's obviously what is giving them the advantage over the rest of the field…clearly I should be running a team…look out EJ I'm coming in.

Also it must have come to everyone's attention that no-one apart from a Schumacher has won a race this year…so I've decided to focus on learning the German National Anthem instead of the Italian, just to cover my bets!!

Next we move on to Austria…lederhosen time…see you there.

Reproduced with permission from PenelopeF1.com

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